For a long time, my relationship with hair loss felt urgent.
Urgent to fix it.
Urgent to hide it.
Urgent to explain it.
Urgent to find the solution that would make everything feel “normal” again.
If you’ve been there, you know the energy I’m talking about. The constant scanning. The researching. The feeling that if you could just get your hair situation under control, everything else would finally settle.
But something shifted.
Not overnight.
Not dramatically.
And not because my hair loss went away.
My relationship with hair loss changed because I did.
The Early Days: Fixing, Searching, Explaining
In the beginning, hair loss took up an incredible amount of mental space.
I was always searching for answers, new products, new routines, new rules. I measured progress constantly. I worried about lighting, angles, wind, and rooms with mirrors I couldn’t control.
Wearing wigs back then felt like a solution I needed to justify.
To myself.
To others.
I felt like I owed an explanation for why I wore one, when I wore one, and what was happening underneath it.
And while wigs gave me freedom in many ways, I was still emotionally tethered to the idea that hair loss was something to solve.
What It Looks Like Now: Ease, Choice, Neutrality
Today, my relationship with hair loss feels quieter.
Not because it matters less, but because it no longer defines how I move through the world.
I don’t wake up thinking about it first thing in the morning.
I don’t feel the need to monitor it constantly.
I don’t feel pressure to narrate my choices.
Wigs are no longer a disguise or a last resort.
They’re a lifestyle tool.
Some days I wear one because it’s easy.
Some days because it completes an outfit.
Some days because I simply feel like it.
And some days, I don’t.
There’s no emotional weight attached to any of those choices anymore, and that shift has been everything.
Wearing Wigs as a Style Choice, Not a Statement
One of the biggest changes is this:
I no longer feel like wearing a wig says something about me.
It doesn’t mean I’m struggling.
It doesn’t mean I’m “having a bad hair day.”
It doesn’t mean I’m hiding.
It means I’m choosing how I show up.
Just like choosing shoes, or makeup, or what version of myself feels right that day.
When wigs stop being framed as a solution to a problem, they become something far more powerful: an option.
And options create ease.
Letting Go of the Need to Explain Yourself
Another quiet but meaningful shift?
I stopped explaining.
I don’t preface conversations with my hair story.
I don’t feel obligated to educate unless I want to.
I don’t over-clarify my choices.
Not because I’m closed off, but because confidence doesn’t require constant context.
If someone asks, I’ll share.
If they don’t, I don’t fill the silence.
There is a freedom in letting your life speak for itself.
If You’re Evolving Too, You’re Not Behind
If you’re reading this and thinking, I’m not where I used to be, but I’m not sure where I am now, I want you to hear this:
You’re not behind.
You’re becoming.
Your relationship with hair loss is allowed to change.
Your needs are allowed to soften.
Your identity is allowed to expand beyond survival mode.
This phase doesn’t mean the journey mattered less, it means it worked.
And if you’re evolving too, you’re right on time.
Cheering you on always,
Jess xx
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